rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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