Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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