Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
