you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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