my phone needs a breathalizer
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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