what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize