you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
