If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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