I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
