how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I deserve this hangover.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
