Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
