I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i've created a new STD.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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