he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
