6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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