That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
