He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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