I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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