that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
