I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
