carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
zippers are such a cool invention
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
