Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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