the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
