So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
