Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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