I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
