I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
