I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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