I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
