So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
