my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize