so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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