i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i now understand why vodka
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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