Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
