....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
