Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
