he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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