And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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