By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
