jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
