You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
