You work out of a Hotel?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
