Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
