we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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