I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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