He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
