He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
