just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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