no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
