life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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