my room smells like sperm. sweet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I could fuck to npr.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
