Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
