whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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