So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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