It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
