so that wasnt chicken after all
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
