I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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