Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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