You work out of a Hotel?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
