i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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