No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Randomize
